"Vanishing Vows"
By Joyce Wachsmuth --
The title page of the the July/August 2020 edition of Christianity Today magazine caught my attention this past week. It stated, “Vanishing Vows” with the subtitle, “Can the church save what’s left of marriage?” Andy Olsen, managing editor of the magazine began his introduction article writing, “Marriage is hard. Plenty of institutions attest to that: couples therapy, couples retreats, and, of course, divorce. But a good marriage isn’t just difficult to sustain; it can be difficult to get off the ground. For many who want to tie the knot, finding a mate is the least of problems amid more daunting financial or cultural headwinds.” He shares the example of a church in Dallas, Texas: “More than 80 couples have been married so far in collective ceremonies at Concord Church, part of a program to get lovers to stop living together and make some real vows. The church seeks to remove as many excuses for non-commitment as possible. It covers all wedding costs, provides more than a year of marriage counseling and mentorship, and even pays a month of rent for cohabitating couples who choose to live apart instead.”
However, there was another article in the magazine by sociologist Mark Regnerus who writes the alarming reality is “that most couples no longer see anything worthwhile across that bridge. The rapid loss of interest in matrimony is not due to its prohibitive cost but rather to its lack of perceived benefits. This comes even as, ironically, those who have already crossed the bridge are finding that marriage offers unparalleled shelter in stormy times, including global pandemics.”
The managing editor, Andy Olsen concludes with the following, ”This shift landscape poses massive challenges for those who champion the value of marriage. Can matrimony be saved? The answer probably will not depend on legislation or messaging. More likely, salvation will hinge on how well communities—particularly church communities—model marriages that provoke people to say, as Carter told Christianity Today: ‘That’s what I need. Help me to get there!’”
As a community, our desire is to continue to champion the value of marriage and to help all our couples get there! Several announcements have been made inviting all our couples in our church to take the Prepare and Enrich Couple Checkup. This is a gift for the couples in our church. Please receive this gift because we value marriages and want you to grow in your relationships.
We are sending an e-mail today with all the information for the couples to do this checkup each online individually. Your personalized couple’s report will be made available to you privately, and you will be able to use the information to enhance your marriage. Doug and I took the checkup this past week, and it took 30 minutes per individual. The results are made available as soon as you both complete the checkup. We have been married for 52 years and know the value of working on the relationship to last a lifetime. With this recent checkup we were able to see our strengths and weaknesses and have had discussions to help us grow in our marriage now.
Our leadership desires to model healthy marriages for our community. Please join us in helping each other get there! Let’s counter that title of “Vanishing Vows” for God’s honor and glory!