GPBC Blog

I really think I’m slowly, slowly being formed by reading the Bible. That may sound obvious or expected because when we decide to follow Jesus we are told that the Bible is God’s word and we should read it, so of course it’s going to form you. I don’t know about you but I’ve had plenty of seasons in my life that it sure feels like reading the Bible is just checking off a “to do” from my list or that even getting myself to read it feels like a monumental task due to some ambiguous resistance to it that gets lodged inside me. That’s not even taking into account some of the busier and exhausting seasons of life. Lord have mercy - when I was in a season of adjusting to a totally new language and culture with a 2-year-old and 4-month-old and still trying to read the Bible - even when my desire was there, my eyes would close as soon as I sat down to read it! It becomes really easy to wonder, “is reading this actually doing anything?”

When our oldest, Hannah, was born, we were amazed by how much a tiny person could up-end our world. It was like we were given a new lens to look at all of life through and everything looked different. That’s about the time that I started really evaluating: how am I going to read the Bible with any consistency? Is it really necessary to read it and why? Is it possible to read the Bible without my own world view informing my reading? (It’s not).

I had already read through the whole thing probably three times and the New Testament alone probably 20-30 times so I was curious - do I still need to read the whole thing or can I just occasionally read the gospels and some of the epistles or do the point and shoot method (you know: close your eyes, open the Bible anywhere, and point your finger to the page) and trust that I’ll find an encouraging verse or something. You only need to land on the laws in Leviticus, the measurements of the temple (in Exodus or Ezekiel) or some gloomy prophetic declaration against Israel’s idolatry to discover that the point and shoot method may not be enough to nurture a resilient faith.

My husband, Rees, suggested I read Gordon Fee’s book, “How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth,” so I did. I would prop baby Hannah on some pillows facing me and read the book to her. I’m sure she got a lot out of that. Honestly, I immediately loved the book but I had to re-start it three times. I tried to do it “responsibly,” ie: read each scripture referenced in its entirety for myself, but you can imagine there are A LOT of scripture references in a book about the Bible! I’d spend so much time looking up verses that I’d forget what the book was getting at and have to start over. Eventually I decided to just read the book through.

The overarching story of God - revealed in many genres over lots of time and across numerous cultures - started to take shape for me. Any remnant of the Sunday school stories being isolated events or the characters of the Bible always somehow being people I should closely emulate started to fall away. I started to read the big picture story and to see repeating themes - mostly God being merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love - but also how he’s always present. The themes of God working in unexpected and impossible people and circumstances and how he always preserves a remnant of faith people no matter what seem to repeat themselves as well. I also saw how humans always try to make sense of stuff based on our limited, human understanding and perspective. I’m not saying that’s bad, just that we’re in good human company as we continue to do that, and we can know with certainty that we just aren’t going to really know the full big picture. There are lots of other themes that get repeated over and over again and I have slowly become captivated by that. 

At the end of August I finished another “read-through” of the Bible. For the past ten years I’ve chosen a word or two at the beginning of a read-through to follow throughout the whole Bible. I usually highlight it as a designated color. This year I chose the word “love” and underlined it with a red pencil. I was almost through Genesis when I began to notice that God’s love toward his people is always “steadfast love.” As I journeyed through the Old Testament  the pattern kept being repeated - God’s love toward his people is steadfast love. Sometimes the word “love” showed up by itself but it was usually in regards to people’s love. It’s an interesting word study but the take-away is that God’s love is a totally committed love. It’s an ongoing and faithful love, not one that grows cold and distant or gets dried out. 

There have been lots of unsettling things happening in our world and in our city but I’ve been slowly noticing that even though I might feel angry or grieved, I’m not so overcome with fear or anxiety about what’s going to happen or how the worldwide church will fare. I am noticing that some small assurance seems to be nestled in me: that God is present, he’ll continue to preserve a remnant, he’ll work in ways that aren’t always predictable, and that his love will remain steadfast. It makes me want to keep reading the Bible because I think it’s forming me into someone who believes that.

May we continue to be formed into a community - both here in Portland and across the world - who live in God’s steadfast love and are formed by his word.