Reset
By Nancy Bergman--
Rarely in life are we offered the opportunity to press reset. Covid has been difficult on a variety of levels as we have all experienced. Yet, it has provided me with an unusual ‘gift’ of sorts; a chance to take stock of my schedule, priorities and involvement--in other words, how I’ve been living my life and is it working.
By this June, my summer calendar was full of wonderful gatherings. As I proceed into the fall I see the same dynamic beginning to unfold. I’m feeling anxious. Over the summer, I was happy to be reconnecting with family and friends, but now I’m realizing I am falling back into my old habit of a too-busy lifestyle of living without margins. Some days my life feels like one great big to-do list that never ends. In truth, I rather liked my Covid life. I continued to go into work daily and maintained regular contact with my bubble. Since our options were few my life was more simple. I wasn't contending with distractions and noise. I was working on developing a rhythm of connecting with God as I endeavored to build practices of spiritual formation, because I had the time.
I want to live a life of purpose and intention, but I also want, rather I need, to have margins for rest, renewal, and re-centering. I am not very good at taking care of myself. At times, the old distortions from the past can pester causing me to think it’s selfish. All of my involvements are good, some very good, and many fun (and I am all about fun), which is part of the challenge. It means I have to say “no” to good things so I can focus on the best things for me at this time. To move forward:
- I’m I willing to stay in the tension this creates?
- Am I willing to take the time required to investigate the answers the deeper questions require?
- Am I staying busy so I can avoid feeling: pain, fear, loss, affection?
- Am I saying yes due to FOMO “Fear of missing out?" Now that feels shallow.
As our world moves faster and faster and throws more and more at us: more information, changes, new technologies, discoveries, turmoil, and divisions, I find encouragement in the bedrock of scripture and the One who oversaw its recording. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let them ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given them." I love these words. God loves me to come to him with my schedule. He never laughs at my quandaries and FOMO’s. For me, this balanced lifestyle stuff is a work in process, a long process. God knows my end from the beginning. He promises to direct my path as I lean into Him and spend time with Him. I'm working on learning to hear His reply.