Of Loss & Dependency
I started this blog nearly three months ago, before it was rescheduled to March. It’s amazing how much can change in three short months. The unexpected loss of family, including my mother, different responsibilities at work, moving that much closer to being empty nesters—so much has changed.
Sitting in church this week, still contemplating what God wanted me to write about, I found myself drawn to Sunday’s Lenten passage. What does it mean to be mourning in this season of giving up and releasing things that you may hold too dearly? How do you let yourself suffer loss for a season and not get stuck in it? Is God using this season of suffering to reposition my heart and bring a renewed dependency on Him?
While I do not have all the answers, this time of reflection helped me continue to process the losses. I take comfort in knowing my mother’s salvation was secured, and I will see her again. I cannot wait to see her free from the pain and confusion of Alzheimer’s disease. I often heard that the pain of loss gets easier but never really goes away. I recognize that more each day. I accept that this is a season which will never end, and I hold fast to the truth that His comfort is everlasting.
…and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes;
and there will no longer be any death;
there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain;
the first things have passed away.
Revelation 21:4 NASB
I am so looking forward to this day! In the meantime, all of you, my faith family, have been instrumental these past few months. Thank you for blanketing us in prayer; providing meals so there was one less thing to worry about; and sending flowers, plants, and cards. It helped me give myself permission to just be in the grief, the grace to focus on our family, and the reminder of God’s promises like the verse above.
As I move through this season of Lent, I do see God refocusing and repositioning my heart. He continues to restore me through a renewed dependency on Him. I embrace this season’s discomfort and realize it can lead us to find lasting comfort in Him. He is providing me opportunities to be there for others and allowing me to pour into them from the abundance that He provides. I encourage you, as we approach the end of Lent, to hold fast to your commitments and lean into your dependency on our Savior.
James