GPBC Blog

February is the “month of love,” so allow me to tell you a love story that began in February – February 2, 2008, to be exact.

When my husband, Lloyd, died in 1988, I was still in my 30s. Many told me I’d marry again. I was young, God would bring someone into my life. But as I watched my 3-year-old son climb the growth chart on the wall and move into his turbulent teens, I began to think, maybe not. But I was okay with that. 

And then Paul came into my life. We met, we courted, and we got married all in the space of nine months. I had been a widow for twenty years; he had been divorced, and between the two of us we had three grown children. 

In the traditional wedding vow, there is the promise to love for better or for worse. We had about two years before we began to drift from better to worse.

First, we were both laid off from our jobs almost at the same time. Paul was able to opt for early retirement, and I got a part-time job in a day care, so we limped along for a while. 

Then Paul decided since he had once been a pastor, perhaps he could find a small church that would take us on, and we could supplement our income in that way. Over the next two years Paul applied to hundreds of churches across the country. 

While he sent out applications, I prayed, not so much for a church somewhere to hire us, but for the strength to push aside my Oregon pride (I’m a sixth generation Oregonian) and my fear of change so that I could even accept the idea of leaving my home.

Then God reminded me of the story of Ruth and how she chose to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, even though it meant not being with her family in her homeland. I finally was able to pray, “Okay, Lord, I will go where you lead. I love Paul, and I will follow him.” 

Finally, we got a call from a small church in Tampico, Illinois. They were interested in us, and in the spring of 2013, we sold our home and moved to Illinois. We were both excited and couldn’t wait to see how God was going to use us there. 

But the hard times weren’t over. In October they let us go. The church said they couldn’t afford to keep us on. That left us literally homeless. 

We found a small 600 square foot rental house, and we moved in just before Thanksgiving. Then we were able to find a church 20 miles away that was willing to hire us. And finally, by the grace of God, we were able to move into a home of our own.

But then Paul’s health began to decline. Diabetes issues led to foot surgeries, one involving the removal of one of his toes. Then because of too many stairs, we had to say good-bye to our new church home. In fact, we had to move out of our house for the same reason.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t just the two surgeries that he was dealing with. Balance issues resulted in a diagnosis of Parkinson’s, and it was aggressive. He went from a cane to a walker, to a wheelchair, to a lift in less than a year.

It was daunting. Truly for better or worse. But two things kept us going. Our faith in God, and our love for each other. 

Our circumstances never got better, they steadily declined going from hospital stays, to in-home healthcare, to dialysis, to long-term care, to hospice. From May to October 2021, it was a slow trip home for Paul and me. Paul went home to be with the Lord on October 30, 2021; and six months later, I came home to Oregon. 

Somewhere in there, God gently opened my eyes to some things He had been doing through it all. As our love and steadfastness grew in the purifying fires of those eight years in Illinois, God used our lives to touch multiple lives there. 

But the one thing that really touched my heart and allowed me to realize it had all been worth the bumpy ride was what happened with Paul’s family. Because of his divorce, Paul was estranged from his two children. While we were there in Illinois, because both were so close, Paul was able to be reconciled to them. But even better, he was able to give his daughter away in marriage, and he was able to meet and enjoy his eight grandchildren. Two of his son’s six children were born while we were there; and his daughter had two girls before Paul died. God seemed to tell me, “I didn’t send you there to pastor a church, I sent you there to heal a family and allow both of you to enjoy your eight grandchildren.” 

Love isn’t always easy. Marriage was never meant to be a revolving door where you move on when the magic is gone. The real magic comes when you both hang on to God and each other as the trials come. Perseverance brings peace and a deep abiding joy that can’t be extinguished. 

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 45:3 “I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” It is usually in the darkest places that we see God’s special light shining the brightest and we grow the most.