Listening Takes Time
By Joyce Wachsmuth --
On April 10, as part of the blog, Greg shared an e-mail that Lee Ballard wrote to the worship team. With Lee’s permission, the story was shared with us all. Lee, you touched my heart as you candidly shared about your encounter with a homeless man. It truly is the little things that matter…just stopping to listen to someone can change everything!
Listening takes time and, in this pandemic, I am learning to take time to listen. Many years ago, we went to a counselor for help with parenting our teenagers. The counselor explained to us that some people are verbal processors and some process first by taking time to think. The counselor explained to me that I am a verbal processor and one of our sons is a process thinker. One of the exercises that he wanted me to do was to give my son time to process what I was sharing with him. I was quick to react, and I had to learn to wait and give my son time to process. I had to listen! It was a real challenge for me, but it was very helpful. Our communication improved just by taking time to wait and listen. My husband Doug is a process thinker and knowing the difference helped us as well in our marriage.
Listening is a skill that we can all work on, and, along with listening, we can work at not assuming you know what others are thinking and saying. A college professor at Multnomah Bible University once told me that the one thing that can destroy relationships is assumptions, in other words, reading each other’s mind! It just could be that you heard wrong, or you heard it once but failed to clarify what you heard from the other person.
Listening is a valuable tool in every relationship, especially in friendships. Being a good listener builds relationships and for a talker like me, to stop and listen is a real discipline. In John 15:14-15, Jesus said, “You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” Listening to Jesus through the Holy Spirit and His Holy Word takes discipline and a willingness to listen. I love the scripture in Luke 10:39, “She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.” I decided to ask my husband Doug, “Am I a good listener?’ His response was that sometimes I am very attentive, and sometimes I’m not. He went on to say that sometimes I interrupt instead of listening. Ouch! So you see, I am still learning and have a long way to go.
So, join me in the challenge of growing to be a better listener. I challenge you to ask someone in your home and maybe in your friendships that question: “Am I a good listener?"
What would Jesus say to me if I was to ask Him that question, “Am I a good listener?” I will be pursuing that question in the coming days as I continue to spend time in His Word. Stay tuned. I may write another blog on this later!
Stay safe and stay close to Jesus!