Emotional and Spiritual Help
By Steve Muir --
The anticipation of Christmas is an exciting time for many of us. It’s a time of celebrating God’s incredible love for each one of us in sending his very own Son to live among us and invite us into a personal relationship with him. It’s a time of giving and receiving, spending time with family and friends, parties, big meals, and a change of pace from normal activities.
Yet, for many people, this may also be a time of great sadness and heavy hearts, especially if we’ve lost a loved one, and we are no longer able to celebrate this time of year with them. This may be the situation where you find yourself, or you may be aware of someone you know going through this.
How can you help someone who is going through such a difficult time? One way is to help them find a Stephen Minister. Stephen Ministry is a quiet, yet powerful, behind-the-scenes ministry in which one person comes alongside another to listen, encourage, and provide emotional and spiritual help.
I would like to share the following story about how a Stephen Minister helped one woman trust God more when she was going through a very difficult time in her life. This type of story is unfolding daily in conversations and caring relationships right here at GPBC. If you, or someone you know, would like to meet with a Stephen Minister, contact the church office and we will be happy to arrange a meeting with you.
A STEADY REMINDER OF GOD’S PRESENCE
“Mark and I had been married 26 years. Our sons were 18 and 20. We loved being parents, but with our younger son graduating high school, we were eagerly anticipating the empty nest and having more time for each other.
In the fall, when our younger son started college, Mark began having stomach issues and back pain, which would linger for a few days and then disappear, only to reappear later. He also developed a cough. When his doctor ordered an MRI, the results were devastating—Stage IV pancreatic cancer, already in his liver and both lungs. Mark was only 53.
Our lives were turned upside down. I suddenly found myself trying to provide emotional support to Mark and our sons during the worst experience any of us had ever endured. I wanted and needed to keep myself together to focus on caring for Mark, but I was emotionally drained—full of sadness and terrified of what the future held. I had always been a “take responsibility for everything myself ” kind of person. However, I knew I couldn’t do this alone.
I talked to my pastor about it, and she suggested matching me with a Stephen Minister. I agreed, and less than two weeks after Mark was diagnosed, my Stephen Minister came for the first of her weekly visits.
It’s difficult to convey how important this Stephen Ministry relationship was. Our pastor was wonderful, and we had an amazing amount of support from many other people, but the time I spent with my Stephen Minister was the only time in the week when I could truly focus on my own needs. She was there just for me.
My Stephen Minister let me know that, while she was very concerned for Mark, her role was to be my support—to listen and help me process what I was feeling and going through, without giving advice or telling me what to do. The consistency of our Stephen Ministry relationship was crucial in helping me cope. Her weekly visits became an anchor in my life—something I could rely on when everything else was so uncertain. She was a steady reminder of God’s presence, helping me know I was never alone.
Although Mark and I chose to talk publicly about his condition, my Stephen Ministry relationship was completely confidential. I knew I could share anything with her, and that’s where it would stay.
Mark’s illness progressed rapidly—ten weeks of treatment, followed by six weeks of hospice, and then his passing. My needs changed as I went from being a wife, to being a caregiver, to being a grieving widow and dealing with everything that the loss of a spouse entails. Through it all, my Stephen Minister’s love and support continued. She was there for me at every stage of my journey. It was never easy, but my Stephen Minister helped me through the most difficult moments of my life.
I really can’t say enough about how much I appreciate my church’s Stephen Ministry. The compassionate, consistent, and confidential support of my Stephen Minister was so important in helping me cope—and then begin to heal.”