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Created For Connection -- A Resource for Couples

07.22.17 | Love, Marriage | by Mark Nordlund

    We are all created for connection. I remember when my Old Testament professor was teaching through the creation story in Genesis and how each day of creation concluded with “God saw that it was good.” Then my professor pointed out that only once does God declare something “not good” about his creation.

    The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’ (Genesis 2:18).

    Created imago Dei, humans are innately relational and designed to turn to each other for connection. We see His design and His image modeled in marriage, the church community and wherever two or three are gathered. 

    In psychology, the concept of attachment is used to describe this essential aspect of being human. According to Dr. Susan Johnson in her book Created for Connection, healthy and secure connections are between people who remain accessible, responsive and engaged (A.R.E.). The A.R.E. concept can be summarized by the questions:  Are you there?  Do you care?

    We all need to feel secure in our most important relationships and we all experience significant distress when we feel uncertain about the connection. In her book, Dr. Johnson provides a practical and engaging guide for couples to understand their patterns of disconnection and to rebuild a secure and healthy connection. This book is a wonderful resource to help couples get to the heart of their conflicts and create a strong and lasting bond in their marriage. I would highly recommend picking it up.